Three is a magic number

Today I sent my transcript requests off to the two colleges I attended previously. Which is pointless, because although I was never on academic probation, I failed miserably. But, they said I had to do this. So, it is done.

Thursday I will take my English and Math placement exams.

The local college does not have a degree in what I want. But they have an AA. They also have this thing called Technical Studies, which appears to be a sort of build-your-own degree, but I'm not sure because, really, the language describing it doesn't actually SAY anything. Just a bunch of big eduwords strung together and taking up a page in the catalog. If I was at all interested in paramedical services or health care, I'd be in a great place. It isn't my thing at all though. I suppose I just don't really have enough empathy to work in that industry. Or maybe it's too much empathy. Whatever.

We're falling further and further behind, and I'm just going to have to suck it up and get financial aid to do this. It's hard to find good full-time work when the Help Wanted page is all of a column and a half.

I will start my first semester here in the spring. Taking one class, the college success one. Obviously, I need it. Second one will be summer, and I think I will shoot for a little less than full-time.

I'm scatterbrained and disorganized and suck at math and I have GOT to find some way to overcome this whole issue of being easily bored, daydreaming in classes, disregarding deadlines and being totally unable to keep my shit together. You know, in other words, having the attention span of a common housefly.

I am both excited and terrified. I don't know if I can do the whole deal. How can I make myself work for me?