a gift on my birthday

ok don't get me wrong. Today isn't my birthday. But follow along, if you please.

Smart Half's department at The-Store-I-Do-Not-Name is in charge of selling musical instruments. They sell the same brand as the ones you can get if you by whatever VW it is. These aren't bad little guitars. You could do a lot worse for more money. Trust me on that. Made in USA, headquartered in Boston, MA on the street named for my mother's mother's family. I goof off on them when I'm waiting for him. Any guitar is a good time to me, though.

Ok onward. He told me that last year, the biggest reason for returns on these guitars was because a string broke. My first thought was "How retarded. Do people think the strings are indestructable?! Or that the guitar is now broken?!". Whatever. Customers are freaks. Anyway. How lame!

So the gears started turning and my brain started smoking and i spit out an idea. I'm going to give a little guitar clinic type thing down there in his department after Christmas. The best day happens to be on my birthday. So, on my birthday, i am going to be helping a group of brand-new guitar and bass owners learn the important stuff. The important stuff is things like learning how to restring your guitar, how to tune your guitar, where to take it around town for repairs and adjustments, who to go to for lessons, a little demystifying the hype about guitars and letting them know which things you REALLY need when you own a guitar, and which things people just tell you that you need to make you spend money that you don't really have to.

Each guitar has an invitation to this event on its box. I will bring some cookies and soda or juice or something. I'll have my guitars and basses there so people can see the different kinds of strings, bridges and saddles, etc. I'm going to print a little handout with the local guitar store (who is a member of the blues society, and i am doing this as a society member) business cards of their teachers, a little diagram of what is on a guitar and a bass, and a note chart of the notes on the neck AND a small list of helpful things you should have around. Like a small Allen wrench, wire cutters, soft cloth, lemon oil, small phillips head screwdriver, stringwinder, etc. The guitools you always seem to need when they aren't around.

You know what? I freakin hate stringing my guitars. I take the six-stringers to a shop and pay them to do it, i hate it so much. I am not a fan of stringing the basses, but it's not as tedious. But it's a necessary skill and i am going to spend my birthday teaching brand new git players these things. No one taught me them until i was well under way.

Yeah. Happy Birthday to me! It will be the coolest birthday present to myself, ever.